Self-Esteem and Inferiority Complex.
Self-esteem is your self-worth; what you think about yourself; how confident you are in yourself and everything that pertains to you, including your decisions. Inferiority complex on the other hand is the feeling that you are inferior or of lower quality compared to others.
Interestingly, these two terms can be linked. You will only feel inferior or of lower quality to others when you have a low self-esteem, i.e. you are less confident about yourself.
Confidence is like a fragrance we carry, or maybe a kind of ornament; it is a positive feeling; it is how you express yourself when you’re certain of something; it is how you trust yourself or others or something and you say it with all assurance. Confidence speaks a lot about you.
However, it’s sad that a lot of people lack confidence in their own selves. I believe before you can deal with low self-esteem and inferiority complex, you need to know your own self-worth, how much you trust and believe in yourself, and the awesomeness that you are.
Knowing these things about yourself and feeling good about it will only stem from you building yourself. You really won’t want to stand up in a crowd and say something that explains clearly how daft you are. The reactions afterward can water you down, or not, depending on your personality. Now, while standing in a crowd to speak is a brave attempt, will you say something that will eventually match the bravery? While sharing your opinions on social media is something interesting, do you make sensible posts or you just end up embarrassing yourself by displaying ignorance?
It is important that you start from yourself first. Build yourself. Read books and interesting articles online and offline. Be sure of the words you want to spill. Learn courtesy. Learn how to respond to situations. When you tackle all these, you will have very little to deal with about self-esteem and inferiority complex.
Take for example, I’m in a gathering where the anchor asks, ‘who can tell me what a table looks like and its functions?’. I know what a table looks like and I’m very certain. If I don’t get up to talk, it is probably because I’m shy (which is another topic entirely), but certainly not because I’m not confident of the answer. You can see clearly how we just ruled out a bit of low self-esteem, by knowledge. The issue now could be the inferiority complex; you may feel someone will say something better, because don’t see yourself better than the person, probably because of past failed records in school or generally. While this is understandable, it still falls back to building yourself and knowing that you may sometimes fail, but it can also be an avenue to learn something new. So, you shouldn’t feel bad if someone says something better, because it simply means the person knows it better and you don’t and you’re willing to learn.
Let’s halt on that section and move on to other areas when self-esteem and inferiority complex affect.
I’ll ask you some core questions:
Do you feel glued to your seat, in a high-class gathering, because of what you’re wearing?
Do you admire people on social media to the extent that you feel they are better than you, with a bliss life?
Do you constantly remind yourself to be quiet amidst friends/colleagues because they might shun you if you say something?
One of the many things I’ve learnt to deal with over the years is the confidence I have in myself; how I trust my own decisions, because I believe I must have given a thorough thought before arriving at that decision. I have learnt how to be confident in whatever I wear, because my choice of dressing stemmed from a decision I made. Gone are the days where I remained glued to my seat because I felt everyone else looked better.
I may not buy the most expensive wears like others, but I’ve learnt to appreciate whatever I have and feel good in them. To an extent, you define what others see you as. If you think you’re inferior, they’ll see you as one. So, get up and walk majestically like one who trusts his/her decisions.
About social media, let me quickly remind you that whatever you see on the internet is filtered. Now, I’m not talking about just pictures, I’m talking about everything. We filter the good from the bad and choose to put up what others should see. You will hardly see a poor grammar on a highly rated blog or some common flaws. Why? It is simply because they go through their posts thoroughly before posting, so what you see is just perfect.
Same thing applies to what you see on social media. The tweets, Facebook posts, and stunning pictures are filtered. You only see what they choose to show you. The person you think is perfect and has it all has probably not been feeding well due to financial challenges, but you may never see that part of them. This doesn’t mean they are fake, they are simply filtering what they put out there.
So, gather yourself and get it straight that we all have our battles. Some of these lives may be as bliss as painted on the media, but you also need to understand how life is in levels.
Don’t let that girl, who posted her graduating pictures from the college when she was only 20, make you feel worthless because you are 23 and still in your 2nd year. Life is in stages and on different levels, both online and offline. If you’ve never travelled out of the country but someone on your social media timeline talks about visiting 2 countries in a month, don’t let it get to you. Focus on other things in your life, like building yourself to become a successful person.
If you have a low self-esteem or you always feel inferior to others, I need you to know that you can be better. You are unique in your own way, and exactly why you must work on it and rise against all odds.
Comparison is the only reason you feel inferior. Try not to engage in some unhealthy comparisons that will affect you. Stand out!
Oluwatosin Faith Kolawole.
A young lady who is conscious about her daily growth. She’s a Teen Coach and the Director of teensmeetonline.com