Setemi,My dear Child.
Child, yes child.. You’re all grown up now,even taller than I am…You’re now an adult you claim, because you clocked 16 this year.
You want to be free,you want to explore…these I refuse you to because I’m unwilling to let you fall and break those wings that are just coming forth… I’m not ignorant of the fact that you think I’m mean and over protective or that I hate you and just want to put you in bondage,I’m also not oblivious of the fact that I’m your worst enemy at this point in time.
I’d rather have it that way,than be your best friend and have you hate me later on.
“Mom, I’m 16”..this is now a line on ‘repeat’ for me to hear everyday you get a ‘No’ because my grown up 16 year old seems to have forgotten that I’m MUMMY and I know you’re 16!
Yes,you’re 16 I know but you’re still my child, that will never change.
You want to be free,I do not want to tie you down either but I’d like you to be more responsible…you think you’re responsible but you should prove it more often..Not every ‘No’ is a ‘No’,sometimes I just want you to show how responsible you’d be if allowed access to some things.
I found your letter on the dining today and I observed how you stated in just five lines,the reasons you hate me so much.But,it only made me love you more.
I loved you more that moment,not out of stupidity but because I’ve loved you right from that time you were covered in my blood on that hospital bed 16 years ago and I know that your hate for me,is going to mean love pretty soon after all they both have four letters.
I refused to let you go visiting friends not because I hate you and just like to infringe on your decisions but because sometimes I want you to give succinct reasons for your actions…Setemi,I’ve seen it..the calls from the girl with a shape to die for,and the one you always look out of the car window to catch a glimpse of,even Liz our neighbor’s daughter the one you have a big fat crush on?.. Believe me,I’ve seen it…Not because I’m a monitoring spirit,just because I’ve been there..you might not believe,but I’ve been there.
You want to go partying with friends because you got gist from their last party where Dinah gave Shechem a lap dance and you’d like one too or where Sandra was dared to kiss Mike and you’d like a kiss too…I know far too well,the reason you thirst for freedom…
Setemi,you’re 16 and you’re bound to make mistakes,I won’t be mean enough to keep you from making all of them but I’ll be nice enough to prevent you from overstepping the bounds of purity and self dignity a little too early…I do not hate you,I do not lie.
Every time I give you a task that is challenging,I do it not because I hate you only because I want you to be better..I do not want an ‘average Joe’ for a child..my child is not going to be by the way,not on my life or yours!
I love you too much to watch your abilities and talents waste away..I wnat you to grow and be responsible that is why I do all of these..you probably do not know about the sacrifices I’ve had to make those few times you were happy even though the times you were unhappy weren’t exactly my fault but yours, because you failed to see reason.
Setemi,you want freedom?
You say you won’t hurt anyone if I let you fly,but you hurt me already when you refuse to listen to me.
You want to fly over my instructions and not fall?
I will not give you freedom,at least not until you prove to me that you’re not just a 16 year old but a responsible individual who knows how to make good use of his sixth sense and the seventh one even in cloud nine.
I will not,not because I hate you only because my ‘No’ is always for a reason you don’t always have to know.
If you really want freedom,then please do my will.
I do not hate you,I love you more than anyone else.
Just in case you left room for doubt,I’ll remind you..I bore you.
Mother,the one who bore you.
We have indeed come a long way from the days of slave trade. But apparently, discrimination and inequality still saturates our society in modern ways. In this little piece, I’m going to discuss a unique and unpopular form in which discrimination occurs.
While awareness has been created against racism, sexism and other forms of discrimination, thick people are being constantly subjected to prejudice and the issue has remained unaddressed.
Being overweight already creates stigma in the mind of a person. Apparently, he or she is less likely to secure the best jobs or get to achieve all of their big dreams due to no other reason but their large size.
In social terms, they are less regarded and are subjected to derogatory humour and disparaging and belittling comments from peers, colleagues, friends and even family members.
Why all this hostility and lack of compassion towards fat people? Why this apparent urge on the part of many to blame and shame people who are already deemed to carry too much flesh? With all these questions lingering on my mind, I have come to a conclusion that it is as a result of the lack of awareness and information on the negative impact of making someone a subject of ridicule because of his or her size.
It is impossible to see how another person sees or feel how someone else does. You call someone fat and you and others laugh about it, while the victim who’s also a human just like you is left with the feeling of shame and disdain. They consider themselves unworthy and ugly like some sort of animal.
I think it’s high time we put an end to this social discrimination, I think it’s high time everyone felt proud enough to appreciate their stature and body. I think it’s long overdue that everyone, overweight or not could have a right to freedom from discrimination, humour and mockery.
You are fat, yes! Rather than constantly feeling bad about yourself, you should stand up and realise that no one else is perfect. Self discovery follows closely. Determine what you’re good at and be proud of it, because that is the first step to becoming proud of yourself.
The next time you look in the mirror, do not only see the large body or hands or face, but also see someone who is beautiful because everyone has the right to be beautiful.
Have you ever been surrounded by many people, and yet felt so lonely, almost like you are in a dungeon or a tower with no stairs like Rapunzel the princess? Or have you ever been alone and yet so full of joy like you’re in the company of your closest friends? I have been in both situations, and of course, the latter was preferable. Yet, I discovered that the difference in both situations was solely based on me.
In every human, there is a need for relationship. The human has been designed in such a way that he should not be alone. Even God admitted in the Bible, back in the Garden of Eden that, ‘It is not good for man to be alone…’ and so he created the woman as a companion for the man.
I spend most of my days alone, but I do not feel lonely. This is because I have grown to see that though it might seem like I am alone, I actually am not, and so I cannot feel lonely. Aremo Olalekan rightly said, ‘You might not be able to control the actions of others towards you, but you can control how you react to their actions.’ This has proved true for me in many aspects of my life. Life is all about your perspective – how you choose to see things.
If you feel lonely because you are usually alone, then you should know that as Christians, the Bible teaches us that we have the Spirit of God living within us and He is here to stay forever with us. So for one, we know that we really are not alone. You can talk to God as often as you want, He is always listening. Also, the joy that He produces in our spirits helps us to overcome any feelings of sadness or loneliness.
And if you feel lonely because perhaps, you are suffering from neglect from people you really love like parents, siblings or friends; then you need to first realize that God loves you more than you could ever comprehend, and He will never leave nor forsake you. Having knowledge of this alone is enough to save you a whole lot of stress, but after that, you need to talk to these people and let them know how you feel. Communication and understanding can bridge the gap that you feel now exists between you. If you don’t tell them, they might not know.
Then take time to be a blessing to others around you. Take your mind off you and all the things that you feel you need. Do more for God, volunteer to take on more tasks for Him. Find joy in helping others and in time, you will get over this feeling of sadness and loneliness.
Loneliness is very harmful because it leads to depression, which is no respecter of age. It is just as harmful as it is to an adult as it is to a teenager. God loves you, dear. Never forget that.
Please reach out to me if you need someone to talk to here.
Jane Kareem,a young Christian writer and graphic designer. She studied Science Laboratory Technology at Yaba College of Technology, Yaba, Lagos. She is an ardent lover of rice and believes that knowledge of God’s love will change a person’s life.
You can reach her:
To any one feeling the way I felt, that voice that says:
*You don’t belong here*
*You don’t look like us*
*You can’t fit*
*You are not on the same level with us*
*No! You can’t join us,we are a clique*
*You have to look this way to be friends with us*
If that is the voice you hear everytime you try to associate with people. You have to speak back to that voice saying:
*I can’t be like you because Christ made me to stand out*
*I am worth a whooping price which is the blood of Jesus*
*I look like Christ because I am his child and He called me his own*
*I might not belong here but I belong on high in heavely places sitted with Christ*
*And Christ loves me just the way I am but I won’t remain that way because He is working on me*
*Men naturally will try to point out certain characteristics,certain flaws, certain attributes that makes them better than you to put you down.
You are a chosen generation!!!!!
You shouldn’t fall to discrimination.
Oluwabunmi a graduate of kwara state university, Bible study teacher, a writer, poet, an advocate for purity and Godly relationship.
She also has a passion for building girls into women.
I promise to read till the end.
If you read that first line, even if it is in your mind, I hold you bound by your promise. Keep it! I trust you will. Sexual purity is at the top of the list when it comes to the most talked about topic the older generation tell we, the younger ones. If you’re like me, sometimes I get tired of it. It’s the same thing said over and over again and by now, you think we will all have learnt, but no. That’s not the case we see. You see, knowledge, they say, is the cure for ignorance. The older generation are trying to save us from wallowing in the sea of ignorance, hence, the constant reminder. Like I said before, sometimes, I get tired of hearing about sexual purity but, I do not in any way think less of it in itself.
Sexual purity is wonderful! Before I proceed, you just might be one of the very few teenagers that has not heard a thing about sexual purity. Let me tell you what it is. If you are expecting a Wikipedia copy and paste definition, I am sorry but not sorry to disappoint you. Since it me writing this and I want you to view sexual purity through my eyes, I am obliged to give you my original definition.
Sexual Purity is a state of being pure sexually. *shakes head* my English teacher will be disappointed with that definition. I will do better next time Sir. Back to the main gist. Sexual purity goes beyond restraining from the main act of sexual intercourse itself. It involves restraining from the orisirisi acts that goes with it too.
What you will not do physically, do not do in your mind. It sounds very similar to this saying which goes thus ‘what you will not eat, do not smell’.
That’s it! Purity is a virtue! It does not fall from heaven on any one. It takes deliberate effort. Sounds like stress? What’s the point? Here’s the point. I believe the word of God and I do what God’s word says. God says to keep the marriage bed undefiled and so, that’s what I’ll do. If He says my body is His temple, I’ll treat it as such. That is what bind me. God will never ask us to do that which is not good for us and that is why on a cultural and science basis, sexual purity still rocks. It does not matter if no one is in on it. ‘A’ is still the first letter of the English Alphabet regardless of whether everyone is saying ‘B’. What is right does not change from being right whether I agree with it or you do.
Okay, so, maybe you do not belong in the category of the ‘untouched’ and you’re wondering what is left for you. Do you put your hands in fire, mistakenly or not, and then say since it is there already, you leave it that way? No, you won’t. Make a decision, stand your ground, move away from the things or people that encourage such, surround yourself with strong people and become accountable to a trusted person.
Believe me, there are still sexually pure teenagers in this world. Yes, they have had situations where they had to choose. No, they are not dumb. Yes, they are enjoying life. The media does not make it easy for us and I’m not promising that it will be but I tell you, it is worth it. You deserve it.
Another confession awaits you. It’s not a promise this time. I am really happy you read it to this point. You make a very ‘fine’ person.
Here it is,
I choose to make right decisions
I choose to do right
I choose to remain/become sexually pure.
I love you. (Thanks for telling me that. I feel the love from your side).
Boluwatife Ishola a girl in her late teenage year. She is a student of Microbiology in the prestigious Obafemi Awolowo University. She loves God with the whole of her and value relationships. She always has a word of encouragement on her lips and she enjoys writing as she finds expression in it. She blogs at http://www.isholaboluwatife.wordpress.com
He said I was a ‘bit of fluff ‘
So he decided to do it his way.
The words hit me hard,
I could choose not to recover,I wouldn’t be blamed.
I needed a bit of fresh air,
So I decided to take a walk
But even then,
It still stared at me,walking with me all the way.
It seemed to love me,I just didn’t enjoy it.
How would I be free from it’s grip
It wants me dead,maybe buried
Yes that’s the kind of love.
The one that offers me a ‘dog life’
Not the kind of life I’d like
If I speak up,who will listen?
Does it really matter,
If I live or die?
Of what use am I afterall,
They already said ‘I’d be better off dead’
Plus buried,6*6 feet down
I agree,but there should be a way out.
He did it his way,he had his way…only for the moment.
The words hit me hard,I needed a bit of fresh air in a vaccum of no help.
I’ve been Abused,
But I’ll speak up,i’ll let it go…
I’ll clear the air myself and make my life worth living.
You’re strong,strong enough to put me down..but i’m stronger,at least enough to not stay down.